swtdream

 photo from the good old days..

crazily unglam..

but outrageously fun.

here's one (:


what's with the centre-parting!!! argh!

Hello World. I'm still alive. Haha.

Basically, after becoming an intern, my life is not as "interesting" anymore. But, I am somewhat glad.. It is a good break after 2 and a half years of mugging. I like studying.. But I hate the part about having to take modules that I don't like or have no interest in. I guess the course is too young and too incomplete.. The tutors can't cope if they are to offer more courses.

Oh wells. But I did not regret choosing Aerospace. It really gives alot of satisfaction to see the plane you're working on take off. :)

I'm currently looking for air tickets' prices to the US! People with lobangs, please contact me~! And I'm going to Genting over the Good Friday weekend. Whee! Finally, I need not sneak into the casino! I can walk in with my head held high and shove my passport into the guard's face. Hoho. Please, please, please check my passport. (Cheap-trill, but I like. Haha.)

I know many friends are having their exams soon.. For once, I can say "Hang in there and add oil!" :)

 我，真的累了。 :(

有时，为人着想，真的很累。当下，多么希望我的世界，只有我一个人。尤其是当这份细心被视为理所当然。

想要无理取闹，却过不了自己那关。

好累。

 Work has started.... For a week or so.

I am attached under the Stress Engineers. Yeah. Stress. Something which never crossed my mind.. Never thought that I would be dealing with structure analysis. Haha. But my jobscope is quite interesting.. About passenger to freighter (PTF) conversion. There are so many technical jargons that I have to learn, so many drawings to refer to and so many situations to visualise. And I'm beginning to grow onto them. So, its not that bad~ Time past rather quickly. Lol.

I think I will learn alot from this internship. Got to come into contact with alot of real life situations faced by the engineers. :)

And I'm very excited about my US trip!! Lets hope it will come true~ :D I am gonna shop like mad in F21~!!!

This time, we sought refuge in Swissotel, the Stamford. And I came to appreciate Fairmont! Its so much better! But the view from Swissotel was breath-takingly beautiful. Everything seems so tiny from up there.. The Esplanade, Flyer, Central Business District, all within my sight. Sigh, I miss walking through Citylink and Suntec, feeling like I'm staying at a place which is just a few stones' throw away.

Christmas was spent at Jean's place where we had a little costume party. Haha. It was a crazy idea but fun, nonetheless. :) Everyone (except one) dressed up sportingly for the celebration! And we took quite a number of photos! And the few camwhores had a lot of fun trying out different combination of characters. Lol. But I didn't feel like joining in the fun last night. Hai. After trying to stuff ourselves silly with the food we ordered (as usual, we overestimated ourselves, ordered way too much), we settled down to exchange our presents and played a few rounds of poker plus blackjack. Yes, the group of us will be gamblers, for life. Because when we congregate, its either mahjong or blackjack or poker.. Heh.

Speaking of mahjong, I can't seem to find any mahjong kahkees. Sigh. Today didn't go as smoothly as I had wanted it to. Thought I could gather enough people to mahjong tmr, but I failed. Thought I could meet the bf for dinner, but turns out otherwise. Then again, the trip down to Bugis was fruitful and with a stroke of luck, I managed to return the costumes on time!

I underestimated the rush-hour crowd, as usual. The train was packed when it reached Bugis, I tried to wriggle my way out of the crowd by following a lady who made a move towards the door when it opened. It turns out that she was not getting down at Bugis! So by the time I wanted to get pass her, alot of people started filling in! I tried to make my way to the other exits but they're all jam packed with people squeezing their way in. In the end, I resigned to fate and alighted at Cityhall MRT. All the time, keeping track of time. Its already 6.30pm (the time the costume shop closes) and I'm at Cityhall. Wth.

Fortunately, I caught the train back to Bugis and half-walked-half-sprinted to the shop. Phew. Managed to return the costume before the shop closes for the day. In good spirits, I popped into Everlast and bought myself a pair of brown sneakers. Good for work. Then I walked around and decided to have my nails done at Jean Yip for merely eight bucks. The China lady's quite professional, to my huge relief.

Anyway, the sinking realisation of him leaving on Tuesday came over me a few days ago and it had been there eversince. Because of that, I feel a war raging inside of me. In order to keep myself sane, I started re-reading the Harry Potter series which proved to be immensely helpful. It kept my mind wandering for long periods of time when I was doing nothing. I started from Deathly Hallows and went backwards to Half-Blood Prince. I just finished reading Order of the Phoenix. In times like this, the collecting of books seemed to be extremely helpful despite the amount of moolahs put into collecting them.

At times when I have nothing to do, my mind will wander unconsciously to the thoughts of the boy leaving. What will it be like without him? What will I do when I find myself missing him tremendously? What happens when I need someone by my side very badly? What happens if he should fall ill overseas? What happens if he should need me badly? Should I stop these thoughts or should I allow them to flow? What will happen to us? Will communication be a problem now that he's at the other side of the world?

The funny thing is, I am not attempting to answer all these questions. Because the emotional me and the rational me will give me dilemmatic replies. -_-" So, I am experiencing moodswings for most of the days. The emotional me will want to meet him whenever I can. The rational me will slip in reminders like 'he should be spending more time with his parents and his friends', 'I think its better that we meet less often so that I can get over his departure', 'he needs more time to himself', 'I don't want to be in the way' etc etc. Like what I've said earlier, there's a war raging in me.

A normal process of thought goes like this:
Emotional me: This gonna be a rough patch to pull through. I'm so gonna breakdown.
Rational me: We will be fine. I'm sure we can pull through. Its only half a year. It will pass in a flash.
Emotional me: Only? Six months is a loooooooong time. A lot of things can happen and will happen.
Rational me: Nonono. We will manage just fine as long as I stop my thoughts running wild. I can do it. I will be strong.
Emotional me: Stop deceiving yourself.
Rational me: Whatever.

It often ends with the inner me resigning to fate, thinking that whatever that's bound to happen, will happen anyway. No point pouring over them. I am extremely worried that we might just drift apart, something which I am hoping will never happen. But then again, nobody can be sure of what is going to take place once we are apart. Hai. Sometimes, I wish that I can put an end to all these. I've always hate feeling insecure.. Its like losing control over something which is dear to me. When it comes to a relationship, I know that even if we have absolute trust and faith in one another, shit still happens. I guess the insecurity is attributed largely to what happened six months ago. The implicit trust, faith and hope were shattered in a matter of days.

I have to admit that I've learnt alot from the previous r/s, I did not handle it well. And I will not let history repeat itself. On a lighter note, the recollections of it has ceased to hurt so badly.

Anyhow, I will have to grit my teeth and let nature takes its own course. Its weird how at times, I can't seem to let it go. But at other times, I can. Very confusing and draining. Sigh.

Fairmount Hotel.. Raffles City Shopping Centre.. Esplanade.. SMU.. Chicken Rice.. Sleep.. 300.. Cartel.. More sleep.. Muthu's Curry.. Suntec.. Marina Square.. Sleep again.. Asian Kitchen.. Bolt.. Sleep.. More of Raffles City Shopping Centre.. Hanabi buffet.

That sort of round up our little escapade, to live the lives of tourists in Singapore.

It will certainly stay with me for the times when he's away. (:

 Finally liberated from papers, papers and more papers!

After two long weeks of battling with the professors, we are free! Whee!

However, its quite a sad thought 'cause I would not be seeing most of my coursemates for the next 6 to 7 months. ):

Been shopping and eating alot, alot, alot over the past few days. :D

Retail therapy rocks~

Am currently waiting for the boyfriend to finish his exams so that we can spend more time together before he flies.

Another sad thought. Hai.

Tonight's gonna be one moody night. ):

 刚听完了杰伦最新专辑《魔杰座》。还是保持了他一贯的作风以及水准！

And I can easily list a few of my favs from the new album~

My fav of the favs has to be 魔术先生, somewhat similar to 牛仔很忙 but its sooooooooooo adorable! Brings a smile to my face instantly. :)

And of course, the ballads such as 给我一首歌的时间，花海，说好的幸福呢 and 稻香 bought me over, as usual.

Cute and light-hearted songs like 流浪诗人 and 时光机 made me high and fuzzy inside. (: Especially like the mix of hokkien and mandarin in 流浪诗人, definitely something new from Jay.

Surprisingly,  I love 兰亭序! It is supposed to be a piece of calligraphy from a talented and famous calligrapher of the Tang Dynasty. I guess that's where Jay and 方文山 found their inspiration for the lyrics and the melody.

Then there is 乔克叔叔, somehow it describes an unknown side in everyone. The part of you which feels lonely and yet, needs to put up a smile despite feeling so.

Jay makes me happy! :D

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the need to be needed. :(

 I'm sure many of you out there heard of the demise of a famous getai singer, 林利.

To me, he's '林利 Uncle' and yes, that's how I've been addressing him for the past 15 - 20 years.

To some who might not be aware, my aunt used to be a getai singer. And yes, I know 刘玲玲 personally. Along with many of the getai singers. And to put it simply, I grew up among the numerous getais in my time. (:

My uncle used to ferry my aunt around who will be rushing from getai to getai. *sigh* Those were the days!

Then my dad, being a fervent supporter and lover of getai, will ferry me, my mum and my cousin around! Trailing behind my aunt.

I was walking with my mum along Tampines Interchange just now and some video shop was playing a CD with 林利 Uncle and some other getai singers. It totally caught our attention so we stopped to catch a little of it. Oh well, it invoked ALOT of feelings in me and memories kept flooding back.

I miss those days. Sitting among the 'backstage' area, listening to the singers and their gossips.

真的，物是人非。现在，没有人会载我和Mummy到处去看歌台了。再也没有机会在后台跑来跑去，喝免费汽水了。

今天，特别想念Daddy。:(

 The laundry room in hall never fails to be a WARZONE of clothes.

Just imagine towels, bedsheets, pillow cases, pants, tshirts, socks and worse of all, underwear, strewn ALLLLLLL over the place!

Mountains and mountains of laundry, unclaimed by their owners. !@#$%^&*()

These inconsiderate owners (and maybe senile, 'cause they ALWAYS forget to collect their laundry) often cause innocent victims (i.e. me) to peep through all the 10 washing machines and decide which batch of laundry should be added to the mountains. And because I do this so often, like once every week (as I only do my laundry once a week), I conclude that guys change their clothes ALOT.

They wash like truckload of clothes!! And they dump everything in. Socks with towels and underwear... O_O And I never fail to cringe when I have to take ALL that out of the washing machine. Eeek!

Sometimes I see the same pile of clothes there for two to three consecutive days! >.< Don't whoever he/she is realised that half of his/her clothes are gone? Rarr. This is exasperating.

Maybe a scientist should invent a clothes shredder. So for those who don't collect their laundry after 24 hours, everything will go into the shredder and be incinerated to generate useful energy. Good riddance of bad rubbish.

Finally met his parents.. Hope I made a good enough first impression though I was extremely tired and was stoning for half, if not three-quarter of the time.

The food at the Cantonese restaurant which we dined in was really fab! Haven't had such good and authentic Cantonese cuisine for the longest of time (:

And like I told him, his parents are good-looking. :P

I like them already. (:

 Flight Mechanics assignment kills, seriously.

10% of 3AUs, is it even worth it..... Hai.

But I only have myself to blame because I thought nothing of it and chose to sit on it till the eleventh hour. O_O

Anyway, tomorrow is an important day. I hope everything goes well! *cross fingers*

(I am cursing at the pimples popping out all over my face! What's wrong with them! Argh. I want my nice complexion back, sobs.)

Finally, the long-awaited recess week is coming. Never felt more relieved. Its time to catch up on all the back logs of tutorials and lectures. Its time to ponder upon what I want for WSC and what could be achieved. I finally have the time to catch my breathe. (Ignoring the fact that 3 assignments are due after recess week. Ahem.)

I think this is the VERY first time whereby I felt that I DIE DIE have to stay in hall over the one week break. I think I have to regain my mugger status in order to keep up with school work, as well as to cope with WSC.

But I am happy that the bf is a mugger! SO, I think he influenced me quite a bit. (:

I REALLY REALLY REALLY NEED TO KEEP UP WITH SCHOOL WORK! Argh.

Nevertheless, today marks the end of the truckload of quizzes over the past 3 weeks. I am a happy girl! Went for A-Clan BBQ just now and I am glad I went. At least the juniors know that this grand senior of theirs exists. :P I feel old as well. Haha.

The 13th Comm will be having our chalet tomorrow!! I am looking forward to that! :D Haha. Time to partehhhhhhhhhh!

And for the past few weeks, I am glad that Junyi's been so sweet. (: Thanks darling.

It hasn't been easy but time will tell that love will suffice.

 I shall stop myself from gushing on and on about Google Chrome.. (:

But ITS DAMN COOL!!!

It actually memorises which websites I frequently visit and store them on the front page! And it moved all of my bookmarks over from IE! Something which not all web browsers can do! Can you believe it or not!!!!

And now, I don't even have to type more than 5 letters to get to the page I want to go. (saves alot of time!) Plus, its VERY fast in terms of loading pages~ (saves alot of time again!)

I'm blogging from Chrome too. Hohohohohoho.

The only bad thing is Microsoft Outlook looks funny in Chrome. ):

But I still <3 GOOGLE CHROME!!