swtdream-™

loving life and loving you (:

I've moved (:
swtdream
Decided to move back to blogger. (:

I can be reached at GIRLGLRF@BLOGSPOT.COM. ^^

坏人
swtdream
方炯镔 - 坏人
作词:马嵩惟 作曲:方炯镔 编曲:杨阳
专辑:好人?!Abin


 那一扇车门
关出我们的裂痕
一声就震断了回头的路程

爱无法均分
以后就留给你们
也许用伤害结束爱才更动人

容忍的人其实并不笨
只是宁可对自己残忍
既然爱不能恒温
祝福就给你下一个人

你是好人也是个坏人
对我坦承只为了朝他狂奔
不能放任所以放了
这点痛我还能忍

我是好人也是个坏人
分得够狠你才有借口转身
宁愿爱一点不剩
也不忍看恋人爱成路人

三个人从不对等
总有个人必须牺牲
那永恒就等他带你完成

你是好人也是个坏人
对我坦承只为了朝他狂奔
不能放任所以放了
这点痛我还能忍
我是好人也是个坏人
分得够狠你才有借口转身
宁愿爱一点不剩
也不忍看恋人爱成路人

宁愿爱一点不剩
也不忍看恋人爱成路人

***

最近,爱上了这首歌。觉得歌词写的很贴切,很有感觉。
快要一年了,还是觉得很内疚。不知何时才能过的心安理得。
很庆幸我的他,能够体谅我,很支持我。 (:

实习的日子一转眼要结束了。
虽然我增加了许多新的知识,但我也看清这不是我想要的工作。
还是觉得自己宁愿面对人,也不要面对死气沉沉的公务。
真的好想在机场工作,因为机场载着很多人的梦想与理想。

还有两个星期就要飞去美国了,朋友们,快点约我!哈哈。

表妹也很快要到日本读书。
真的为她感到开心,因为她终于有机会追求她梦寐以求的学业。(:
希望她会坚强,把书念好,不要辜负Uncle Eric 和阿姨。
也希望她会好好照顾自己。我会很想她。

nostalgia
swtdream
 photo from the good old days..

crazily unglam..

but outrageously fun.

here's one (:


what's with the centre-parting!!! argh!

An intern life is S.H.I.O.K!
swtdream
Hello World. I'm still alive. Haha.

Basically, after becoming an intern, my life is not as "interesting" anymore. But, I am somewhat glad.. It is a good break after 2 and a half years of mugging. I like studying.. But I hate the part about having to take modules that I don't like or have no interest in. I guess the course is too young and too incomplete.. The tutors can't cope if they are to offer more courses.

Oh wells. But I did not regret choosing Aerospace. It really gives alot of satisfaction to see the plane you're working on take off. :)

I'm currently looking for air tickets' prices to the US! People with lobangs, please contact me~! And I'm going to Genting over the Good Friday weekend. Whee! Finally, I need not sneak into the casino! I can walk in with my head held high and shove my passport into the guard's face. Hoho. Please, please, please check my passport. (Cheap-trill, but I like. Haha.)

I know many friends are having their exams soon.. For once, I can say "Hang in there and add oil!" :)

好累。。。
swtdream
 我,真的累了。 :(

有时,为人着想,真的很累。当下,多么希望我的世界,只有我一个人。尤其是当这份细心被视为理所当然。

想要无理取闹,却过不了自己那关。

好累。

ST AERO
swtdream
 Work has started.... For a week or so.

I am attached under the Stress Engineers. Yeah. Stress. Something which never crossed my mind.. Never thought that I would be dealing with structure analysis. Haha. But my jobscope is quite interesting.. About passenger to freighter (PTF) conversion. There are so many technical jargons that I have to learn, so many drawings to refer to and so many situations to visualise. And I'm beginning to grow onto them. So, its not that bad~ Time past rather quickly. Lol.

I think I will learn alot from this internship. Got to come into contact with alot of real life situations faced by the engineers. :)

And I'm very excited about my US trip!! Lets hope it will come true~ :D I am gonna shop like mad in F21~!!!

Our little little Escapade
swtdream
This time, we sought refuge in Swissotel, the Stamford. And I came to appreciate Fairmont! Its so much better! But the view from Swissotel was breath-takingly beautiful. Everything seems so tiny from up there.. The Esplanade, Flyer, Central Business District, all within my sight. Sigh, I miss walking through Citylink and Suntec, feeling like I'm staying at a place which is just a few stones' throw away.

Christmas was spent at Jean's place where we had a little costume party. Haha. It was a crazy idea but fun, nonetheless. :) Everyone (except one) dressed up sportingly for the celebration! And we took quite a number of photos! And the few camwhores had a lot of fun trying out different combination of characters. Lol. But I didn't feel like joining in the fun last night. Hai. After trying to stuff ourselves silly with the food we ordered (as usual, we overestimated ourselves, ordered way too much), we settled down to exchange our presents and played a few rounds of poker plus blackjack. Yes, the group of us will be gamblers, for life. Because when we congregate, its either mahjong or blackjack or poker.. Heh.

Speaking of mahjong, I can't seem to find any mahjong kahkees. Sigh. Today didn't go as smoothly as I had wanted it to. Thought I could gather enough people to mahjong tmr, but I failed. Thought I could meet the bf for dinner, but turns out otherwise. Then again, the trip down to Bugis was fruitful and with a stroke of luck, I managed to return the costumes on time!

I underestimated the rush-hour crowd, as usual. The train was packed when it reached Bugis, I tried to wriggle my way out of the crowd by following a lady who made a move towards the door when it opened. It turns out that she was not getting down at Bugis! So by the time I wanted to get pass her, alot of people started filling in! I tried to make my way to the other exits but they're all jam packed with people squeezing their way in. In the end, I resigned to fate and alighted at Cityhall MRT. All the time, keeping track of time. Its already 6.30pm (the time the costume shop closes) and I'm at Cityhall. Wth.

Fortunately, I caught the train back to Bugis and half-walked-half-sprinted to the shop. Phew. Managed to return the costume before the shop closes for the day. In good spirits, I popped into Everlast and bought myself a pair of brown sneakers. Good for work. Then I walked around and decided to have my nails done at Jean Yip for merely eight bucks. The China lady's quite professional, to my huge relief.

Anyway, the sinking realisation of him leaving on Tuesday came over me a few days ago and it had been there eversince. Because of that, I feel a war raging inside of me. In order to keep myself sane, I started re-reading the Harry Potter series which proved to be immensely helpful. It kept my mind wandering for long periods of time when I was doing nothing. I started from Deathly Hallows and went backwards to Half-Blood Prince. I just finished reading Order of the Phoenix. In times like this, the collecting of books seemed to be extremely helpful despite the amount of moolahs put into collecting them.

At times when I have nothing to do, my mind will wander unconsciously to the thoughts of the boy leaving. What will it be like without him? What will I do when I find myself missing him tremendously? What happens when I need someone by my side very badly? What happens if he should fall ill overseas? What happens if he should need me badly? Should I stop these thoughts or should I allow them to flow? What will happen to us? Will communication be a problem now that he's at the other side of the world?

The funny thing is, I am not attempting to answer all these questions. Because the emotional me and the rational me will give me dilemmatic replies. -_-" So, I am experiencing moodswings for most of the days. The emotional me will want to meet him whenever I can. The rational me will slip in reminders like 'he should be spending more time with his parents and his friends', 'I think its better that we meet less often so that I can get over his departure', 'he needs more time to himself', 'I don't want to be in the way' etc etc. Like what I've said earlier, there's a war raging in me.

A normal process of thought goes like this:
Emotional me: This gonna be a rough patch to pull through. I'm so gonna breakdown.
Rational me: We will be fine. I'm sure we can pull through. Its only half a year. It will pass in a flash.
Emotional me: Only? Six months is a loooooooong time. A lot of things can happen and will happen.
Rational me: Nonono. We will manage just fine as long as I stop my thoughts running wild. I can do it. I will be strong.
Emotional me: Stop deceiving yourself.
Rational me: Whatever.

It often ends with the inner me resigning to fate, thinking that whatever that's bound to happen, will happen anyway. No point pouring over them. I am extremely worried that we might just drift apart, something which I am hoping will never happen. But then again, nobody can be sure of what is going to take place once we are apart. Hai. Sometimes, I wish that I can put an end to all these. I've always hate feeling insecure.. Its like losing control over something which is dear to me. When it comes to a relationship, I know that even if we have absolute trust and faith in one another, shit still happens. I guess the insecurity is attributed largely to what happened six months ago. The implicit trust, faith and hope were shattered in a matter of days.

I have to admit that I've learnt alot from the previous r/s, I did not handle it well. And I will not let history repeat itself. On a lighter note, the recollections of it has ceased to hurt so badly.

Anyhow, I will have to grit my teeth and let nature takes its own course. Its weird how at times, I can't seem to let it go. But at other times, I can. Very confusing and draining. Sigh.

Our little Escapade
swtdream
Fairmount Hotel.. Raffles City Shopping Centre.. Esplanade.. SMU.. Chicken Rice.. Sleep.. 300.. Cartel.. More sleep.. Muthu's Curry.. Suntec.. Marina Square.. Sleep again.. Asian Kitchen.. Bolt.. Sleep.. More of Raffles City Shopping Centre.. Hanabi buffet.

That sort of round up our little escapade, to live the lives of tourists in Singapore.

It will certainly stay with me for the times when he's away. (:

LIBERATION! :D
swtdream
 Finally liberated from papers, papers and more papers!

After two long weeks of battling with the professors, we are free! Whee!

However, its quite a sad thought 'cause I would not be seeing most of my coursemates for the next 6 to 7 months. ):

Been shopping and eating alot, alot, alot over the past few days. :D

Retail therapy rocks~

Am currently waiting for the boyfriend to finish his exams so that we can spend more time together before he flies.

Another sad thought. Hai.

Tonight's gonna be one moody night. ):

My Best Birthday Present Ever. (:
swtdream
.




After being kept in the dark for 1 month or so, I got 'unveiled' to my own birthday party on the 2nd of November 2008.

The boyfriend put up the best show! (Now I finally believe that he's once in chinese drama society.)

Told me to accompany him to a concert at Yong Siew Toh's Conservatory of Music on the 2nd. Told me to meet him at 4pm at Clementi MRT and not to be late because the concert begins sitting at 4.30pm and that he wants to get the best seats. Told me that he forgot about the tickets and had to go home to retrieve them. And to add on to the act, he still asked me if he should go back home to take the tickets alone or if I want to go back home with him. Even when I was blaming him that I should never be early because something always crop up at the last minute, he did not utter a single word and merely laughed it off. In the end, he even brought me on a longer route home because some of my friends were worried that I might notice their cars on the way there.

When I saw a huge bunch of people through the lift-door, the first thing that came to my mind was 'who's having a party?' It was only when I heard the birthday song that I realised it is MY birthday celebration. OMG. I very nearly teared but I didn't. (don't ask me why. Haha.)

 


I really wanna thank everyone for coming! Especially the main coordinators, Man Jun, Andy, Li Ren, Joyce and Puay Keong.

 

To the 13th Main Commers who managed to make it (Jin Cong, Man Jun, Aditya and Yoke Keong) and Xue Fen: Thanks for the huge long-lasting ballon, the Chomel accessories (I love them!) and the card~!

To the 14th Main Commers who managed to make it (Kaixiong, Huimin, Gerri, Eugene, Andy and Rachel) and those who didn't but chipped into the gift: Thanks for the gift card!! :D It is most practical and totally what I wanted.



To the guys (Merv, KS, Roy, Li Ren, Lingyi, Lun and Long): Thanks for coming all the way from the East! Merv, thanks for coming amidst your project discussion and the fact that 2nd Nov is actually your birthday. Lun, thanks for the angpow -.- Roy, thanks for bringing home all the food! :P Li Ren, thanks for getting the guys to come down~



To my Aero mates who made it (Han Sui, Guat Sim and Adeline) and those who didnt (Elisa, Emily, Adeline, Lyanna, Ruixia, Yixiang, Pei Jun and Puay Keong): Thanks for the dress! Although it doesn't fit me, I loved it. (: PK is the weakest link in the whole surprise because he asked me to do a funny survey for him! Its a looooong story. Haha.



To the China-ASEAN peeps (Lawrence, Joyce, Angeline, Mike and Rena): Thanks for your presence. (: It made the surprise most meaningful.

To the bf's parents: Thanks for giving your son the chance to be crazy and made an impact in his gf's life. :P



And lastly, to the fantastic boyfriend, Junyi: Thanks for having this crazy idea and for making it happen. Thanks for being such a sweet boyfriend. Thanks for coordinating and making the effort to contact all my friends. Thanks for the most memorable and unforgettable birthday present. Thanks for giving me such a special 21st birthday. Thanks for loving me so much. Thanks for stepping into my life despite all odds. Thanks for everything. I love you, darling. *muack*

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